There is just something about Abuja that opens the eyes of young people only when it’s late.

I don’t know whether to call the place a false reality. Go back to where you have some advantage and work your way up to your life’s purpose.

Here is an experience that a young lady shared with me:

“Your advice about having people we listen to (no matter our age or status) reminded me of a decision that I made, which I believe is responsible for my happiness and peace of mind today.
After my university education, I set off to Abuja. I arrived in that city with so much hope and dreams. My first shock was that the friend who encouraged me to come over (with so many embellished tales about the city) kicked me out of her house when I realized that the ‘businesswoman’ she called herself was selling sex to various men.

Luckily for me, my uncle made contacts and someone helped me to secure a slot (as a contract staff) with an international organisation that was recruiting at the time.

I was also assisted with a one-bedroom apartment in a lovely part of town.
A few years down the line, the organisation ended their project in the country, and the job came to an end.


The first thought that crossed my mind was to use my savings to pay for a befitting accommodation in a choice part of town. I was already driving a car and meeting ‘friends’ who promised to introduce me to big shots. I had plans for Abuja.

Till today, I can’t tell what pushed me to share my plans with an unlikely source, and he asked to see me later that day. When we met (over dinner), his words were, ‘Take what you were able to save and relocate to an affordable part of the country. Start up something there or hone the skill you have garnered on the job and start marketing those skills as a consultant. Don’t let experience teach you that you are in the wrong place at this stage of your life. There are no rich connections waiting to hand you a silver spoon here. A lot is not as it seems.’

I left that meeting begrudging his unwillingness to help me. I mean, he was one of those ‘contacts’ that I was secretly banking on.

Just about that period, I lost an uncle and had to travel for his burial. On our way back, we passed through one of the states in my part of the country, and I said to myself, ‘This is not a bad place to settle in.’ Something about the environment simply spoke to me, and that’s how I got back to Abuja and began to pack my things.

It has been years since I made that courageous move, and I can only say that I am grateful to God for using who He used to save me from a lot! A few years after I relocated, one of my Abuja friends visited, and she didn’t stop talking about what she referred to as my ‘fine house.’ She concluded that I have started seeing too much money and that’s why I now live in a ‘fine house.’

We all started from a choice area in Abuja, but she has since moved twice to the ‘inside-inside’ part of town that her purse can accommodate. I sat her down to explain that the problem is that she found herself in an environment in which her income is overburdened by the economic demands on it.”
From Oby… A young lady is probably somewhere, daily hanging on to the dream of not developing herself but meeting ‘rich contacts’ that will change her life. You will wake up one day to ask yourself in frustration what you have been doing with your life/time all these years. A lot of mature ladies in Abuja are in this boat right now. Alhaji is no longer picking old girlfriends’ calls. The senator is not ‘senating’ again and is always ‘out of town.’ Use what is left of your young life to develop yourself and become empowered. Time will prove to you that your body is not an investment. The lifestyle that requires you to ‘service’ a battery of men to maintain will scar you in the long run. In the space of men who use women for pleasure, you cannot compete. You are easily displaced by new faces/bodies. His pleasure is the priority, not your issues.

The reality that I find most pathetic is young men, whose idea of a brighter future is meeting a sugar mummy. Whatever doesn’t flow from self-development you think you are enjoying now will fizzle out.

Post Category: News





   

---